The best rising damp quotes

List all the best rising damp quotes here:

my favourites are:

'nonsense Miss Jones, you have an hour-glass figure', 'well i cant help wishing i had a bit more sand'.

And

'I have no intention of giving way to it, extinguish your stick!'

and of course Rigsby's trademark:

'Myyyyyyyyyyy God!'

all classics

Oh, Mr Rigsby! - Oooooh, Miss Jones!

'Your a women of great refinement Miss Jones'. - Rigsby to Miss Jones
'I'm not well, I have all these pent up emotions' - Alan to his posh girlfriend.

My favourite:

Rigsby is complaining to Alan about his scruffy appearance:

"You've been here six months and the name is still on your soap."

When the bailiffs have come to repossess Rigsby's furniture and he begs them to depart because he's expecting Brenda to come down...

Flint: "And you were hoping to...?"
Rigsby: "With a bit of luck, yes."
Flint: "Well not on our springs, you won't."

And when he's berating Alan about the permissive society:

Rigsby: "We never had the pill in my day, you know. We had to make do with a glass of water."
Alan: "What, before or after?"
Rigsby: "No, instead of."

One of my favs is when Rigsby's talking to Alan about football, "in my day,if you scored all you got was a firm handshake,now you get coverd in love bites!"

heard a great one in 'rooksby' yesterday.

ruth in phils room. she finds a skeleton and screams.
rigsby bursts in and shouts to philip, 'now then monoloulou, what's your little game?'

Ruth:I didn't know you played tennis Mr Rigsby.
RR: Ooh I was never off the courts before me strings went.
Classic.

Rigsby catches Alan coming in late one night:
RR: And where have you been?
AM: As a matter of fact I have been to see Dr Zhivago.
RR: Mmm what did he say?
As with most comic genius, the line itself is not that funny, but when delivered by Rigsby its magnificent.